Just Missing
by Synonymous Brian
Summary: When L met Raito, he was obsessed. When Raito met L, he ran. What happens years later when L realizes what a selfish bastard Raito is, just as Raito begins to fall for L? No matter what, the two were always just missing the other. AU LxR BL


**A/N: Hello all you yaoi lovers! This is my first Death Note fic and second shounen-ai! Due to my recent obsession with L and Raito, I couldn't help but write this fic born from the plot bunny that has been residing in my brain for a while now.**

**So the other day I was cleaning out my bookshelf when I noticed my favorite novel from 5th grade, 'Flipped' by Wendelin Van Draanen, the basic plotline is this; girl meets boy, boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, boy just wants her to go away, years later, girl realizes what a jerk boy is and falls out of love with him just as boy begins to change and falls in love with her. Girl is confused about what kind of person boy really is and it just ends like that. And despite the fact that I'm in 8th grade now, and have grown out of it, I suddenly imagined L and Raito in that situation with L as 'girl' and Raito as 'boy.' Sorry, L XD And thus I had to write it. I only copied that basic plotline though, so it's loosely based on the novel. Oh yeah, and another thing, I recently heard that 'Flipped' would be turned into a movie. Now please, enjoy!**

**WARNINGS: Massive OOCness (but c'mon, they're 11!), spoilers for L's real name and Beyond Birthday, slight language, references to and sexual innuendo, massive POV switching, the retelling of the same story but in different ways and of course, BL.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note and it's characters, which belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, or the concept, and basic plotline, which belongs to Wendelin Van Draanen.**

**Now read and enjoy(hopefully)!**

_**xxx**_

The first day I met L Lawliet, I swear, I could've screamed and packed my bags, ready to move back to Osaka in a flash. L had to have been the most annoying, weird, freaky boy I had ever met, and it was like as though he had no idea what 'personnel space' meant as he barged and forced into my life, even though I had tried to make it clear that the doors were closed. He was honestly probably the creepiest person in the world. Everything about him was creepy! The way he stood, the way he sat, the way he held things, the way he stared at me like as though he wanted to burn all my clothing off with heat rays in his eyes. He had like, an _obsession_ with me, constantly following me, watching me with a pair of binoculars in his house, trying to _kiss_ me. And let me take a moment to make it clear that we're _both male_.

I remember that fateful day, my family and I were moving to Tokyo, and I was excited for I would be soon attending Daikoku Private Academy. I was going to be in 6th grade the next day and was glad I wouldn't have to transfer in the middle of the year. The car ride was very boring and I had ended up watching some soap opera with my 8-year-old sister, Sayu that was starring some new idol she had a crush on, Ryuuga Hideki or something. She was positively gushing.

"Oh, isn't he just so cute, Onii-chan!?" she squealed repeatedly while I just sighed.

"He has a butt chin," I said observing his features on the screen of the laptop.

"So? It's hot!" She exclaimed.

I raised an eyebrow, after all, she was only 8 years old and I had recently turned 11.

"Um, yeah… sure…" and that was it for most of the car ride. It seemed like the first day of spring, already Dad, Mom and Sayu all rolled their windows down as much as possible, and thus I had warm wind blowing my hair all over the place, tickling my cheeks and sometimes into my mouth. Not to mention, I was rather cold and could barely hear anything, but of course, I didn't say anything. For, true, it did bother me, however, not enough to make an effort to tell them to roll their windows back up and turn on the air conditioning instead.

The car finally pulled to a stop behind the moving van in our new driveway, "We're here! We're here!" Sayu exclaimed, squealing and clicking her seat belt off, setting the laptop, which was still showing her precious Ryuuga Hideki to the side and bursting out the door.

"Hey! Sayu, wait for me!" I called before exiting out of Windows Media Player, turning off the computer and following her out. It was a very average house, with an ordinary door and an ordinary yard and ordinary windows. Nothing to be too excited about. But nonetheless, I was.

"Raito! If you don't want to go in yet, come help me with the boxes!" My father called.

"Okay!" I said, when suddenly I felt a presence over my shoulder. A very close presence, living and breathing right against me. I mildly wondered if it was Sayu, but I could hear her excited screams from a while away.

I turned and met a pair of black holes. They belonged to a boy who looked to be about my age, with messy raven hair and skin paler than paper. It was like as though those great black eyes had some kind of invisible rope holding me there… It was CREEPY! My breath caught in my throat and the heat rose in my cheeks. Only three minutes in the neighborhood and already some freak was staring at me!

"Um… hi?" I asked. That seemed to snap him out of it as he took a step back, I breathed a sigh of relief, but he still wasn't as far away as I wanted him to be. I noted that he looked rather messy, not dirty, but unorganized and unprepared. He wore a simple white cotton shirt and rather baggy blue jeans with old sneakers jammed on crudely, the ends of his feet squashing the heel. He had his hands stuffed into his pockets and stood with a serious hunch.

"Hello," he replied. And that was it. No 'I am…' or 'are you just moving in?'s even though that much was obvious. And so I waited, but it seemed like the freak was done until, "Who are you?"

Of all questions to ask! 'Who are you?' without introducing himself first or why he was all up in my face! What a weirdo.

"Um, Yagami Raito, my family and I are just moving in," duh, I thought and mentally smacked myself, "and you are...?" I trailed off.

"Lawliet L, but please, you may call me Ryuuzaki, I live right across the street," he said, gesturing with his chin. L. What kind of name was that? Just a letter from the English alphabet, I mean, what the heck?

I gave some halfhearted reply, mentally groaning at the thought of being neighbors with this freak and looked at my dad, trying to catch his eye and hoping that he would help me get away from this 'Ryuuzaki'! He got the message.

"Raito! Could you come here for a second and help me with this box?"

Thank you Dad! He was a real lifesaver. I muttered a quick goodbye to Ryuuzaki and practically ran to my father where I helped him lift a box of my mother's porcelain. But suddenly the next thing I knew, that freak was beside me yet again, lifting the box like as if it was his business too. My father tried to shake him off by telling him his parents might be worried or something, but then he replied, "Oh, my mother and father are dead and my Grandfather Watari let's me do whatever I want!"

Awkward…

Seriously, the kid just couldn't take a hint!

And that's when I noticed Ryuuzaki holding up the box with the very tips of his fingers; palms nowhere near touching the underside. Another weird thing about him! I asked him why he held it that way.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

CRASH!

He acted as though he didn't understand what I had just said and as if it was perfectly normal to hold things like they were covered in dog saliva. I had ended up dropping and nearly falling onto the box of porcelain.

"Raito!" my father called as I felt a pair of scrawny arms wrap around one of mine and pull me up. I was about to pull away, but Ryuuzaki held my arm so tightly I was afraid it might snap in two. I pushed and I pulled and I even clawed, trying to get him to _let go of me! _But he just hugged my arm to him even more forcefully, while my dad went on and on, "Raito, you know that was your mother's favorite china! What will she do when she's found out you broke it? Honestly, I would've thought you'd be a lot more responsible than-"

But then, Ryuuzaki suddenly piped up, saying that _he_ would pay for it even though it had _nothing to do with him!_ He was just trying to barge into my life, I was sure of it.

After a long silence, my father sighed, and said, "Raito, why don't you just go play with your new friend?"

"EH!?" Was he trying to put me through torture or something!? Some lifesaver he was! "But no, I- I-" I tried to protest as Ryuuzaki grabbed onto my hand and dragged me across the street to his house to molest me or something. I cried a mental and rather dramatic, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' as he forced me to his torture chamber of… odd… things.

Finally I managed to regain some sort of sense in his front yard when I planted my feet firmly onto the ground and halted him, "Um, Ryuuzaki, I know you want to play, but we've just moved in, and I really should help my father and mother with the stuff and-" I had tried to wrench my hand out of his but somehow, I ended up pulling him even closer to me as he turned around. _Too _close with our noses half a centimeter apart.

Both our eyes widened but suddenly I noticed that he was shortening the distance even more! His lips were just about to press against mine when I panicked and wrenched my hand out of his and backed away.

I could feel the heat rushing to my face as I blubbered around like an idiot, "What the hell are you- what was- I- You- BYE!" I screamed as I raced back home and dived into the new house.

Ryuuzaki, the most annoying, weird, creepy, odd, freak of a boy in the world just tried to kiss me. KISS ME. ME. WHO IS ALSO MALE. Not to mention very homophobic at age 11! Argh! This was just so wrong! And though I would never have admitted it back then, I was deeply terrified of him and his odd quirks and scared if he would try anything with me again.

"Is everything alright, Raito?" my mother asked worriedly, unpacking a box of markers and crayons as I sighed.

"Um yeah," I put on my fake grin, "Just tired is all."

"All right then, I'll help set up your bed as soon as possible," she smiled warmly at me and moved to call Sayu back into the house while I muttered a brief thanks. My smile immediately slid back into a frown and I groaned when thoughts turned back to that freak Ryuuzaki. He was definitely dangerous.

_**xxx**_

The first day I set eyes on Raito Yagami, I fell utterly, totally, completely and hopelessly in love. I know, I know what you're thinking, I mean, I was only eleven years old and yet the moment I met those bright deep caramel eyes, I couldn't help but fall and drown in them. He was just too beautiful. It didn't matter that I was also a boy, I knew, at that moment; he was the one I wanted to spend an eternity together with.

It was a warm day. The first warm day in ages and ages that I had felt as though I had forgotten what the warmth felt like. But now, winter was finally over and the pretty pink Sakura petals were floating and drifting in the breeze. It was the day before the start of sixth grade. I had finished all of my homework the first day of vacation and had spent much of it solving logic puzzles and small cases that my adoptive grandfather, Watari given me to take on. For my training to be a future detective of course. But that day, I had solved all the puzzle and quizzes and cases and was bored to the bone. Shockingly, I somehow wasn't in the mood for cake either.

I was sitting by the fence in front of our house, mildly enjoying the view of the rain of pink blooms when a moving van pulled up to the house across the street that had very recently changed it's picket sign in the front yard to 'sold'. I watched with wide eyes as the most beautiful and fascinating boy I had ever met in my life of eleven and nearly a half years hopped out of the back seat of the Honda that had been following the van. His light auburn locks framed that pretty, sculpted face perfectly, and his sharp eyes were the deepest, clearest brown, and when viewed closely, one could see lighter flecks of gold. He was wearing a neat, normal white collared shirt and fresh, spotless black pants and on his face, a small yet radiant smile as he moved to help his father, mother and sister carry boxes into the house.

I ran across the deserted street without hesitating, not looking both ways either, and stopped right in front of his back. He turned and I felt as though my fast beating heart would jump out of my throat. Our eyes met, brilliant mahogany against fathomless obsidian.

He looked slightly bewildered as his cheeks turned pink; it was so adorable!

"Um… Hi?" he said uneasily. It was then that I realized I was practically standing against him and quickly took a step back. He let out a breath he seemed to have been holding. There was a 22 percent chance he might like me back.

"Hello," I replied.

We stared at each other for a while. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something, so I did.

"Who are you?" I asked, bluntly.

He blinked, cutely might I add and said, "Um, Yagami Raito, my family and I are just moving in and you are…?"

Yagami Raito… I loved every syllable, every sound of that name and the way it rolled off my tongue so musically, it was beautiful, like him.

"Lawliet L, but please, you may call me Ryuuzaki," I replied, my hands stuffed into the pockets of my loose jeans, "I live right across the street," I added, gesturing behind me with a tilt of the chin. Ryuuzaki was an alias used by my distant serial killer of a cousin, B, and I had decided to adopt it now that he was in prison.

"Oh, cool," he said, rather distractedly, looking at his father who seemed to be sending him some kind of telepathic message through expressions and brainwaves. Raito looked to be impatient with him and turned back to me, opening those delicious lips to say something before-

"Raito! Could you come here for a second and help me with this box?" his father called from next to the moving van.

I frowned as he called back to him, "Yeah, sure!" then turned back to me and said; "So I guess I'll see you later…" he trailed off before dashing to his father, still blushing rather furiously.

I grinned; he wasn't getting away from me that easily. I ran after him as he and his father were lifting a rather heavy cardboard box labeled 'Sachiko's Porcelain'.

"Do you need some help?" I asked eagerly, not waiting for an answer and putting my hands under the box and lifting also.

Raito blushed again, "N-no, we're good," he said as we slowly began to move towards the house.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, young man? Won't your parents be getting worried?" asked his father, Souichiro Yagami as we edged along.

I shook my head, still grinning, and told them simply that my parents had passed away and Watari… Ah, Watari, the old man spoiled me rotten, even though neither of us would admit that.

"Oh," both father and son, stopped their moving of the box and looked slightly uncomfortable, "I'm sorry to hear that," said Souichiro.

"That's quite alright, Yagami-san," I said cheerfully, I choose not to dwell to much on the past, "I was very young so there's really not much to be sorry for. Now, c'mon! Let's not stand here stupid!" I edged forward with the box and they followed suit.

Raito obviously seemed to be having some trouble, the poor boy, as he said, "Erm, Ryuuzaki? Are you sure it's going to work if you only hold it up by the tips of your fingers?" he asked quizzically.

"Hmm?" I lifted my hands up, "What do you mean?" I questioned as the box suddenly toppled. The weight must have been too much for the boy as he fell on top of the box and an all too audible 'CRASH!' could be heard.

"Raito!" Souichiro cried, alarmed. I quickly grabbed the boy by the arm, an electric current zooming through my pulse as I pulled him back up.

He was blushing furiously again and squirmed around, embarrassed while his father ridiculed him.

I had to do something of course, "Please Yagami-san, the fault is mine entirely and I shall pay for all damages done to valuables in the box."

Souichiro looked at me, then sighed, rubbing his temples, "Raito, why don't you just go play with your new friend?" he asked.

"EH!?" he sputtered rather loudly, flushing like crazy while I positively beamed with happiness, grabbing Raito's hand, I pulled him across the street to my house immediately. I wasn't really sure what we would even do there, but the feel of his hand in mine sent my reasoning ability down by 30 percent. Which was quite a lot, but I didn't care, I just wanted to be with him.

"Um, Ryuuzaki, I know you want to play, but we've just moved in, and I really should help my father and mother with the stuff and-" I turned around to face him as we stood in front of my house, and he suddenly, unexpectedly pulled me to him. Our noses just a breath away, my eyes grew wide at the proximity as I felt my heart hammer like a maniac against my ears and the world seemed to have suddenly run out of air. I stared at his crimson face, those eyes, wide as mine and vivid with a brilliant dark bronze. His smooth, un-chapped lips were a perfect pale pink, slightly parted as a quick dash of rose nervously wet them. I found myself drawing even nearer and nearer to those lips as my eyelids fluttered and drooped instinctively, our breaths mingling and mixing at the close proximity when-

The warmth from his hand in mine suddenly disappeared and I regained my ability to breathe. My eyes were once again wide open as his face became a simply breathtaking scarlet and he sputtered and stuttered unfinished sentences, backing away from me and nearly tripping over his own feet, before turning and breaking into a run back to his house.

We almost kissed.

And now he was so awkward and embarrassed, it looked as though his cheeks were going to burn off.

You blushed when you liked someone, right?

Right. I was sure that there was a 68 percent chance that he liked me back and a 71 percent chance that we would kiss sometime in the future. Just knowing these facts made my heart pound relentlessly against my ribcage as my stomach somersaulted and danced with my intestines. I grinned happily, trying to contain my excitement as I raced into my house, up the stairs and into my room where I jumped onto my bed and positively squealed. I was acting like an adolescent female. A very stupid one and stimulated by nothing but emotions too at that. But back then, I hadn't cared if I was, all that mattered was Raito Yagami and the fact that I was very much in love with him.

_**xxx**_

**A/N: Okay, yeah, you can just come and kill me now –blows up- Meh, I apologize greatly if you don't like all the extreme OOCness, but c'mon, they're eleven! And L's not truly in love, he thinks he is but it's more of an obsession. Gah, I'm sorry if I made him too romantic. –ducks as shots are fired- I also apologize if you get easily bored with the same story told in different POV's, I tried to make it different, really I did… -sighs- Anyways, tell me if I should continue or not, cuz I'll just stop if no one likes it, so, review! Constructive criticism is always appreciated, just no flaming! So um, yeah… once again, REVIEW!**


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